i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
