I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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