so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
