Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
