Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
