Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
