Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
