your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
