dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
