she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
