I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
