i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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