I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
