I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize