SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
