His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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