We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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