Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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