I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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