fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
