Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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