don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
