no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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