Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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