shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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