dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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