absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
