I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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