We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
