I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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