Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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