Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
