He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
