I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
