Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
