when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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