mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
