I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
