Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
