You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
