You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
