apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
