so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
