the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
