So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize