i think i have two assholes
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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