I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you inspire me to be a worse person
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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