he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize