If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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