I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
