Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
