Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
