3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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