I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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