She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
