I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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