I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's shark week go big or go home
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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