don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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