covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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