at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
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HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
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We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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