So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
