I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
