i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
