next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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